So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The Olympian is in my bed
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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