So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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