So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
