The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
