i don't like sucking hair
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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