Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize