i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
