If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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