just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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