I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
