I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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