): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
