I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you had me at cake vodka
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
