my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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