Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
