girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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