so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
