I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
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I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Success! We fucked roommates!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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