I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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