it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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