I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
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Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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