oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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