IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
