I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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