Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
