What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize