so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
