his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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