Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
