32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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