All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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