So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
