it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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