It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
birth control should be required to get into college
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
