like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
