Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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