How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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