I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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