Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
