hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
