my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize