We got so high we made milksteak
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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