If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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