She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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