hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Can I color on your dick again?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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