girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
