party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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