All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
