Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize