i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
