i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
