she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
