I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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