her vagine was all disorganized.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
