the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
