do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
