Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
