but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
