Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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