I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
