office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
