never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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