Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
