You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize