I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize