woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
