Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
