Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize