Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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