and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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