when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
apparently the secret to your success is patron
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
