Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
