So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
