How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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